(SPOILER ALERT - THIS IS GOING TO REALLY GO INTO DETAILS)
I went to see the new Batman movie over the weekend. I wanted to go when it came out, but just never had the opportunity until now. I really ~loved~ "The Dark Knight" (much of the credit goes to Heath Ledger, greatest Joker ever), and wanted to see the "Rise".
Let me start by saying that if you are a Christian Bale Batman series fan, you have to see this one. That said, don't expect it to be as good as "Dark Knight". I blame the writers/directors for that - I thought they really blew it. Here's how it could have been much better:
First, don't use someone with a retread of Sean Connery's voice as Bane. Totally wrong. And I only understood about %80 of his lines. And the excuse they gave for the mouth thing was totally lame. Use a little more imagination, like he's really on the point of dying and feeding him a pcp-type mixture is the only thing that keeps him alive. Also lame, but at least it's better than "gee, he really hurts without it".
A few other issues:
a. Flipping back and forth to the underground prison in a foreign country? What the heck was that? How did they just get back and forth from there at a moments notice? Absolutely bad...
My rewrite: Bane ~builds~ a prison there in Gotham. He built all sorts of everything else underground. And he talk about how there will be courts and trials - a prison seems only natural. Of course he would build it like the one he was in. He traps/throws everyone in there - the police, the rich folks, etc. Much more convenient to have your prison right there where you need it. All of the original prison "shots" would be in history/memory/etc.
b. What was the deal with the Professor? Bane knows him, saves him, he arms the weapon, and then gets killed. Really?
My rewrite: Merge the "professor" character with the "caregiver in prison" character. The Professor serves as a guy that Bane was in prison with originally (which helps explain their connection) and also as the guy who weaponizes the reactor. Instead of being killed, he gets thrown back in prison. He can just tell the world that the weapon ~can't~ be defused - no need to kill him. Then he'd be pissed off at Bane, have more medical and scientific background to heal Bruce, and know the whole backstory to explain the whole thing.
c. "I grew up in the dark." Really? Seemed like there was a whole lot of light in that dark prison where you grew up. Dark - maybe at night, like the rest of the world. Guess there was no such thing as "fire" in that prison, either.
d. Ummm.... there's a rope? I suppose no one ever thought to climb to wherever the rope was anchored? No, why would you do that when you could climb the crumbling walls instead....
e. How does an escaped prisoner in a foreign country with no money - and no money anywhere - get back to Gotham? Sorry, that deserved more than one mention here.
f. "There's only one police in Gotham" - and they are idiots. March down a single street all in one big group? Oh, yeah - that's how the English handled things in the American Revolution. See: Cannon Fodder
g. "Shoot them all"? If she can casually say "Shoot them all" and they shoot them all, why couldn't they just "shoot them all" before?
h The directors really botched the death of Bane. Seriously. If you are going to build this guy up, at least give us the satisfaction of letting us enjoy his finale. How about Catwoman rides up the steps in the tumbler, bursts through the doors, flies across the room mid-air (maybe even in slow motion) and THEN fires the cannon right into the mouthpiece of a shocked looking Bane when he turns her direction, landing then on the remains of his body? That is a finale.
i. I didn't realize that Batman was also clairvoyant. How the heck did he know where to go to find Catwoman every time she got into a fight, or Catwoman after he escaped from the prison, or Catwoman apparently after he bailed from the "bat" towing the bomb, OR... the exact table that Alfred would face when he went off to "have his drink"? Oy.
So many ways to make it better... Doesn't anyone give these guys feedback???
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